Stop listening. Just try

When I wanted to stand for the election for a president of the Greenwich Entrepreneurs society at uni, a friend of mine told me that I am very unlikely to win because I wasn’t part of it... or any other society ever.

Makes sense, right?!

When I wanted to move to London my mum told me it was impossible because she had no money to support me and I had no working experience (18 years old) to do it myself alongside university studies.

Makes sense, right?!

When I decided I want to learn to do splits last year my gym buddy told me it was pointless because this kind of flexibility needs developing over a long period of time and from an early age.

Makes sense, right?!

But I did it all, and I did it for one reason: I did not listen to them. (and yes, I'm showing off with my splits, dah)

However, there's a list of other things which I've been wanting to do, try, achieve, but never even attempted because I listened.

I listened to my friends and family.

I listened to my doubts.

I listened to society.

Not always deliberately, but I listened. And for this reason I never tried, or if I tried I didn't persist. And not because I didn't want to. The possibility just didn't exist. My brain went on autopilot.

Us humans, we are much more likely to believe negative statements than positive ones.

This whole article was inspired by the above sentence. I heard Tom Bilyeu talking about in one of his videos. To extend on this (and quote a credible source rather than only sell you my personal beliefs) here's some more of his wisdom...

'People fall into the trap of believing that some things are empirically true and cloud their vision but when you couple that with the fact that human beings are more likely to believe negative things than they are positive things you get into a world where you’re more likely to believe a pessimistic outlook than an optimistic outlook. But optimism is connected to future success so that’s just a core thing.

Because people don’t have the fundamental belief that their problems can be solved so they don’t even try. So if that’s because they don’t believe that they’re are capable or they believe that it can be solved period then the people that advance are just the ones that have the guts to believe in themselves. That’s a pretty ridiculous reason for somebody to be successful and yet it is terrifyingly true that it isn’t the brightest people that end up succeeding it’s the ones with the most belief.' - Tom Bilyeu

Just think about it for a second...

Scenario 1. You've never learned another language in your life. It's probably hard but many others did it. You think you shall be capable of doing it too. You pick up a book, sign up for a course, download an app or whatever and spend 3 months intensely learning.

You are not a master but you made the EFFORT and consequently the PROGRESS.

You believe you are capable of learning a language. You do.

Scenario 2. You've never learned another language in your life. It's impossible to start now. You don't know how it works. Your parents don't speak other languages in your family. It's just not in your genes to be good at languages. No point wasting time trying.

But really?!

or

Scenario 1. You turn on the TV and hear the following:

Obesity is currently at its peak and if people's nutritional habits don't immediately shift, it is expected to affect 85% of the population the next 5 years.

Your brain immediately shows you a scene of your body twice as thick as it is, drowning in a ketchup bath, tears dripping on the double cheeseburger lying on your belly probably because most of your friends are currently dying from diabetes.

Ok maybe your brain is not so brutally picturesque but you'll still get some goosebumps, right?

Scenario 2. You hear on the news:

The health and nutrition movement in Europe has made a significant impact in society with over 14 million people reporting to follow a healthy diet, decreasing obesity with 20% and expected to cure 85% of the obese population in the next 3 years.

Phffffff sure. (chewing the double cheeseburger)

Why thought?

Because it is harder to believe and weirdly less exciting to think and talk about.

Another example (last one)

Scenario 1. You are just dumb baby, - your mama tells you - you'll never be successful in life. This stuff is for the kids with wealthy and educated parents, not for us.

Scenario 2. You are equal to any other human alive and regardless of our circumstances you can be whatever, whoever you decide to be - just put in the work.

A kid would not make too much of a distinction between the two in terms of what's easier to believe and this would shape their mindset... for a lifetime (in most cases).

For an adult, we all know what's more likely to stick.

Did you question why the news always start with the worst that have happened in the country, in the world?! Why the BREAKING NEWS are always about disasters and never about some positive stuff.

Cuz we like it. We love the drama. We love the chaos. We love the disasters. (not 'us' literally but our lizard brains) They're just super easy to believe. I mean you won't question if 10 thousand people actually died in this hurricane. It's obvious.

You might not question if a bunch of scientists made a significant progress in curing cancer either but... you won't pause Game of Thrones to hear about it there and then and post on Twitter.

As in my dumb examples (sorry my not in my most creative state when writing this) or your personal circumstances, it is just easier, for whatever reason, to believe and actually pay attention to what's wrong rather than to what's right, to what's impossible rather than the possibility.

We are all insecure to some extend and it is much SAFER to give up on seemingly hard or impossible things than to run agains the EASY way and... try.

However, centuries ago someone thought it would be nice to have all delicious plants in one place rather than having to spend hours in the forest searching for them. The idea was seemingly hard, probably impossible to most, but this one person went above and beyond to collect the seeds of each plant, went above and beyond to learn how to nurture and grow these plants and above and beyond convincing someone else and inventing agriculture or just a little garden near their cave or house, not sure what time and age I’m talking about but you get the idea.

Surely there were odds against it and OPINIONS & FACTS to prove it impossible.

But he just went WHATEVsss I want ma bananas.

In 1878 Thomas Edison thought it'd be cool to have an object different from the sun that can lighten up your way to the bathroom at night.

In 2014 Kim Kardashian attempted to convince the obsessed about being skinny generation of women that having a thick 'saucy' tights is the absolute trend and as ridiculous as she sounded back then please Google 'how to grow your bum' and see the number of results now.

Exactly. Impossible. But these guys didn't listen!

Why should we?

The human brain has proven itself to be such powerful machine, it has proven to turn many impossible concepts into existence but we still hold doubt and insecurity about its capabilities, about our own capabilities.

Every human being can achieve pretty much anything with the right mindset and amount of effort. The only difference between those that do and those that don’t is LISTENING - listening either to the external sources that tell you that you can’t or the inner voices that tell you the same bs.

I learned not to be angry at my doubt because that’s the mechanism that also keeps me alive. This inner process originated to protect our ancestors - fear exists because they had to survive from wild animals for example, so when danger appeared, fear would activate the ‘fight or flight’ response and the adrenaline release would save the human from the lion.

However, in this day and age our brains still get into ‘fight or flight’ mode when fear kicks in even though the fear of failure is not about living or dying. It is simply about ego, social norms and reputation. But it is the exact same process in the body.

That's why we hold back... not just our brain but our body is stopping us from believing the possibility of accomplishing the 'impossible'.

So let’s take this under consideration and:

1. Stop listening to other's and our own bs and give it a go.

2. Stop triggering other’s fears and doubts. Just because your mind can't quite see it, it does not mean it is not a possibility.

Let’s feed faith in our human capacity because there are no more lions walking around. We are the only lions. We are the ones that can stop ourselves and the ones we care for in achieving amazing, meaningful things in the world.

Love,

Maria